Archive for August, 2008
{ August 29, 2008 @ 11:58 pm }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: back-to-school, children, childrens clothing, culture, daughters, family, funny, health, humor, kids, life, love, mothers, Parenting, personal, random thoughts, relationships, shopping, women, writing }
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Well, its official, you can safely add Mary to the list of young girls with a tainted body image. Today was supposed to be a “girl’s day out,” full of back-to-school shopping excitement and giggles. The fitting room crushed this woman’s dream of mother/daughter bliss.
Mary is only six years old, but has been blessed (or cursed) with hips and a bootie. She isn’t heavy or overweight, but built like an athlete: Solid through and through. I found myself picking out jeans for her to try on at a local department store. Since she wore a size 6/6x last year, I picked up size 7 and headed to the fitting room. Mary is very modest, so I waited in the chair outside her room. To my surprise, she grunts, “I can’t get these things up!” ”Let me see,” I replied in my concerned yet disbelieving voice. Sure enough, they were stuck mid thigh, and there was no way they could go any higher. Huh.
Mary was horrified that the jeans with coveted purple sparkly hearts wouldn’t make it home and safely tucked into the bottom drawer of her dresser. Actually, we were forced into the Plus Size section of the girls department, which is a place of shame and horror for a somewhat vain little girl. “Do I look fat?” Mary asks. After regaining the breath that was sucked from my lungs, I said, “Of course you’re not fat baby. Some girls are just shaped differently.” She gave me the “Sure mom, whatever you say” look. It hurt my heart.
What kind of a world are we living in where a little girl worries about her shape and how the latest fashions will fit her? I just want to give a shout out to children’s clothing manufacturers who are chipping away at the self concept of our youth. Sheesh, like I needed more help on that front!
Not-So-Peacefully out.
{ August 28, 2008 @ 1:11 am }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: Autism, children, college, culture, education, family, funny, humor, kids, life, love, mothers, Parenting, personal, relationships, school, soccer, women, writing }
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I have to say, the anticipation of another school year has taken over my life! Even though it has been an enjoyable summer with my babies, I won’t shed any tears as they head back to the classroom. Does this make me a bad mother?
I have spent the past three months as mediator and referee for Ryan and Mary. This is the part of parenting that astounds me. Most of the time, I don’t get what the problem is. The rest of the time, I’m ready to send all offending parties kicking and screaming to their rooms. Never a dull moment in my house! And Mary…omg, Mary. She has turned into a moody, sippy, mumbling, whiny ball of female! Is this in the handbook?! I suppose that, even at six, I need to realize she’s a pre-pubescent ferriswheel of emotion. God, I need to call my mother to apologize for my childhood angst…meh.
Ryan’s springtime IEP never took place, leaving him without the “fall facts” as I like to call them. We were supposed to decide upon the “right” fourth grade teacher, along with modifying his plan and accomodations. Unfortunately, his general ed teacher needed to have emergency surgery and was out for the last eight weeks of school. Of course this threw my son into a tizzy, where his inner trauma manifested itself into a scorching bout of kleptomania. Needless to say, I know the school dropped the ball, and I’m going to take the blame for that one. I should’ve been able to tie Ryan’s stealing hands behind his back while wrestling with an incompetent school administration…a mother’s work is never done! LOL 
I am happy to report that I have once again been chosen as Mary’s soccer team “Team Mom.” It is a position I’ve held for three seasons, and am always willing to help where needed. I was also asked to help with a shift at the concession stand, something I DON’T want to do, however, I have agreed to suck it up. I need to work on saying “No!”
On a non-kid related note, I am ready to head back to my classes as well. Today I dropped a few hundred dollars on text books, and found the cutest shoes! Yes, even college moms go back-to-school shopping. I’m looking forward to my final semester as a Delta College student. My classes are mostly literature and communications, with the exception of geology (do I really give a shit about rocks??) and algebra (did I mention I’m a writer??). I will enjoy working with students again this semester in the new Writing Center. Hopefully, I’ll make an impact or difference, and that is always a good days work.
Well, I am off to bask in a 12oz. bag of Rolos…Peace out!
{ August 21, 2008 @ 1:55 pm }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: authors, business, career, copywriting, culture, e-commerce, freelance, friends, friendship, funny, humor, inspiration, job, life, love, magazines, people, personal, publishing, women, writing }
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Today I begin my new adventure writing web content for an E-Commerce. It is the first time I’ve pursued such an endeavor, as my focus has been on creative and research writing. I’m fortunate enough to be working for an amazing couple as they realize their dream of owning their own business. The goal is to go live in 10 weeks, something that I believe is more than possible. In the end, for me, I’m not concerned about boxing myself in to a certain brand of writing, I just love to write!
Because of this career opportunity, I am filing the paperwork to start my own business, Write Creations. I’m hoping to find local opportunities for web content writing. It has been brought to my attention that there are quite a few internet based companies right here in my city. Who knew?! I think this will be a great new facet to my portfolio, and have been assured there will be a great reference in my future.
As for my personal writing career, The Tridge is publishing their fall issue soon, and I have a few things to submit for consideration. Between school, working at the college’s new Writing Center, my freelance work, raising my babies, and continuing on with Magic Doug, my plate is officially full. Because of this, I will explore the manuscripts in my arsenal and see what is worthy to pass along to the magazine. I’m aware that my creative writing projects may have to take a backseat to everything else in the immediate future, but I’m alright with that. I feel very blessed for all the opportunities and really want to take advantage (not for granted) all of them. It seems that I have built quite a base of those who are rooting for me, both personally and professionally. I am humbled daily by kind words, thoughtful actions, and plenty of kudos. I hope I’m giving back more than I’m getting, as it brings me great joy to “pay it forward.”
{ August 18, 2008 @ 12:06 am }
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{ Poetry }
{ Tags: culture, life, love, love at first sight, men, people, personal, Poetry, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, women, writing }
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Is he really
full of intense passion?
Driven by power
and capable of maddening
jealousy over his
one true love?
Could he love
a nurturing and
stubborn spirit who
desperately craves his
passion?
A deep and loyal love,
a fierce stubborn streak
shared by two
souls who looked beyond
a crowded room and took a chance.
Strangers seeking something
they haven’t yet found,
a destiny already written
or yet to be determined.
Building a bond
of affection and trust,
appreciation of form.
The possibilities of
what it would be
to come face
to face.
A smoldering look,
two lost hearts
finally seeing what
they’ve been
desperately searching for.
{ August 18, 2008 @ 12:01 am }
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{ 1 }
{ Tags: culture, depression, emotions, eyes, feelings, home, inspiration, life, people, personal, Poetry, random, thoughts, women, writing }
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At times they are the color of the ocean;
A reflection of turquoise
Sea kissing
Vanilla sand.
Beautiful eyes that have
Loved passionately,
Witnessed great kindness,
Crinkled with laughter.
To the outside world,
There is only joy,
Nothing dark or demanding.
Only she knows what lies
Behind her ocean view.
“They reveal too much,”
She often says.
Where is there to hide
Within eyes that reflect a soul
That encases her deepest
hopes and desires?
Eyes exposing secrets
She dare not surrender,
While private thoughts gnaw
At her very core.
If you look closely,
Openly and completely,
You will see her.
She is there, behind all
That she is unable
To forget; all that
She is unable to escape.
{ August 17, 2008 @ 11:51 pm }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: career, counseling, culture, depression, family, funny, home, humor, inspiration, life, mental health, people, personal, psychology, random, random thoughts, therapy, thoughts, women, writing }
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I hope this post finds all of you well and enjoying the month of August! I didn’t realize it’s been so long since my last installment of the “Magic Doug” series (oh, and it is an ongoing state of affairs). Without further ado, let the post begin!
Since I missed recounting week two in the therapy chair, I suppose I need to do a little catch up. Week two, which I pleasantly refer to as “overview” week, consisted of Tina’s values and beliefs. What?! Since I’m going through this thing in which I am questioning everything, including what I value and what I believe, our session was a cluster fuck of topics. My marriage played an important role, as we pondered my feelings about Hubby and the future of our union. It was very clear that we are not in a functional relationship, and my wanting to end my marriage is the obvious choice. I wasn’t expecting the conversation to go in the direction it did, but thats the beauty of free-talk. At the end of our session, Magic Doug assigned me to make a list of values and beliefs, which provoked feelings of anxiety and fear that I wouldn’t say the right things or the acceptable or expected things.
Week three had me jaunting into Doug’s office with my writing portfolio, newly written poetry, and the values list. I suppose I feel it is important for the man who is helping me sort out my life to know where I’m coming from. My poetry is very earthy, and leaves little doubt where I’m at. My writing portfolio is really the window into my soul, if you’re into cliches. I write some very personal material, and I don’t think you could read one manuscript without getting a clear glimpse of my Tinaness.
It wasn’t long into the session when Magic Doug declared, “I’ve got it! You are a free spirit and not meant to be tucked away into a little box!” I’m so happy he noticed. I’ve known this about myself for years, but always felt that my “freeness” was something to be ashamed of, not acceptable in polite circles. The truth, as Doug explained to me, is that I can explore my free personality but need to set boundaries. It has become rather apparent that I have been living as a woman of extremes: too free, or too oppressed. So, moderation is the order of the day. I’ve never felt contentedness or focused a day in my life, and this foreign idea that I can be myself and it’s perfectly alright is a bit daunting. I suppose I’ll have to ease into it, being careful to ditch extremes.
As I expected, we ended week three with a referral to the doctor for some medicinal ADHD control. It is long overdue, and can only help me as I continue on in my education, career, and spankin new life.
