I hope this post finds all of you well and enjoying the month of August! I didn’t realize it’s been so long since my last installment of the “Magic Doug” series (oh, and it is an ongoing state of affairs). Without further ado, let the post begin!
Since I missed recounting week two in the therapy chair, I suppose I need to do a little catch up. Week two, which I pleasantly refer to as “overview” week, consisted of Tina’s values and beliefs. What?! Since I’m going through this thing in which I am questioning everything, including what I value and what I believe, our session was a cluster fuck of topics. My marriage played an important role, as we pondered my feelings about Hubby and the future of our union. It was very clear that we are not in a functional relationship, and my wanting to end my marriage is the obvious choice. I wasn’t expecting the conversation to go in the direction it did, but thats the beauty of free-talk. At the end of our session, Magic Doug assigned me to make a list of values and beliefs, which provoked feelings of anxiety and fear that I wouldn’t say the right things or the acceptable or expected things.
Week three had me jaunting into Doug’s office with my writing portfolio, newly written poetry, and the values list. I suppose I feel it is important for the man who is helping me sort out my life to know where I’m coming from. My poetry is very earthy, and leaves little doubt where I’m at. My writing portfolio is really the window into my soul, if you’re into cliches. I write some very personal material, and I don’t think you could read one manuscript without getting a clear glimpse of my Tinaness.
It wasn’t long into the session when Magic Doug declared, “I’ve got it! You are a free spirit and not meant to be tucked away into a little box!” I’m so happy he noticed. I’ve known this about myself for years, but always felt that my “freeness” was something to be ashamed of, not acceptable in polite circles. The truth, as Doug explained to me, is that I can explore my free personality but need to set boundaries. It has become rather apparent that I have been living as a woman of extremes: too free, or too oppressed. So, moderation is the order of the day. I’ve never felt contentedness or focused a day in my life, and this foreign idea that I can be myself and it’s perfectly alright is a bit daunting. I suppose I’ll have to ease into it, being careful to ditch extremes.
As I expected, we ended week three with a referral to the doctor for some medicinal ADHD control. It is long overdue, and can only help me as I continue on in my education, career, and spankin new life. 
