Archive for March, 2009
{ March 28, 2009 @ 1:57 am }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, books, college, culture, education, family, funny, humor, inspiration, life, literature, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, women, writers, writing }
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I can’t think of a title because my brain is obsessed with my new manuscript! It is writing itself word for word, which I’m thankful for, yet unprepared for. I hadn’t made plans to begin a new project until after the current semester was over, but my imagination has other plans. Seriously, it’s not as if I don’t have enough to do! However, like the artist that I am, I will write.
“Diary of a Kitchen Table” is the name, and it revolves around this theme, from the table’s perspective: “If the kitchen is the heart of the home, then I am it’s pusle, my family it’s blood.” Really, it makes sense. The heart is the major organ, which needs a “pulse” to function. And of course, the important element these two have in common is blood. I’m hardly known for using metaphor in my work, but this has been swirling in my head like an agitated F-1. I’ve discussed the piece with two people and have gotten a lot of emotion in their response. I will keep the details to myself for now, until it all comes to be. One person did tell me that the table sounds posessed, but I can assure you, if done correctly, my readers will gladly accept the kitchen table as part of the family. Stay tuned….
On a different note, I am still waiting to hear about several awards. One has been decided, although I’m not yet privy to the results. The other three are a guessing game. However it works out for me, the announcements will be made shortly. I only have to suffer a little while longer.
For now, I will keep plugging along with my classes, continue putting the madness on paper, and most importantly, find the beauty in life and contemplate my place within it.
{ March 21, 2009 @ 2:21 pm }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, children, college, culture, education, family, finances, funny, health, home, humor, life, people, personal, plasma, random, random thoughts, thoughts, women, writing }
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You know you’ve hit financial rock bottom when you stoop to selling your plasma. Ugh! I never thought I’d be selling my stuff so my kids could eat. What is wrong with this picture?!
I need money to continue with school. I need money to pay the bills. I need money for gas. I need money for food. Forget about entertainment, that isn’t in the cards. And because I’m the selfish wife and mother who decided to pursue her dream of higher education and a new career, I’m the one who deserves to sell her plasma. By doing this, I will be contributing to our monthly income and possibly saving a life. Not a bad way to spend a few hours a week!
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly feel any lower, I received some news that lifted me up, lit my fire, and helped me see that even though times are tough, I need to keep on track and never give up. I’m here in this place for a reason, it isn’t coincidence, it’s my destiny.
Today I’m going to tackle my Shakespeare assignment with new gusto, spend more quality time with my grammar book, and be the ‘close reader’ that my Lit professor expects.
Life is funny, cruel, and delightful. 
{ March 17, 2009 @ 2:12 am }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: Autism, blogging, children, culture, discipline, education, family, funny, home, humor, inspiration, kids, life, love, Parenting, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, writing }
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After the past few days, I’ve been in a somewhat reflective mood. Reading old posts, along with recent developments, has made me pause for thought. I suppose it is another of those times in life where I need to record it, just so I won’t forget. Or maybe the process of writing and reviewing will allow me insight that only an outsider could provide. So here goes…
Ryan has stumped me again. It’s kinda good, kinda bad. A month ago we were having tumultuous mornings filled with arguments, push-pull moments, and in the end, ultimate emotional defeat (that would be me being defeated). Our evening weren’t much better as Ryan would become quite agitated and combative during homework sessions. I was at the point of giving up, giving in, and looking the other way. Then, without any anticipation or encouragement on my part, he changed! He completely pulled all the pieces together to create a harmonious world. Really?!
It began when Ryan decided our angry and stressful mornings weren’t the best way for either of us to start the day, everyday. One of our biggest obstacles was “getting up,” which would begin with soft motherly sweetness, but end with angry verbal commands from me and steadfast stubbornness from Ryan. Instead, he made the effort to set his own alarm clock, actually get up, and proceed to go through his morning routine without any prodding from me. AMEN!!! I will tell you, if there was ever Heaven on Earth, that was it! Our mornings are back to civility and pleasantness and “Have a beautiful day!” as he heads out the door.
Ryan, around the same time, decided that homework isn’t the devil incarnate. I’m still unclear about what changed his mind, but he now comes home from school, grabs a snack, then begins his homework immediately! Yes, I did worry that there was a possession in my midst, but at this point, I was willing to accept my “new kid,” no matter what. His grades are better, which I’m happy about, and he is discovering that the success that comes on the heels of a deliberate effort is pretty sweet. Yay!!
Unfortunately, as things are falling into place for her brother, Mary is falling apart. She will be seven this spring, which, in my opinion, is far from horomones and puberty, but apparantly, she didn’t get the memo! I’m plagued with tears at all hours of the day and night, along with soul deep conversations during tuck-in time. This kid worries about everything! I call her an emotional sponge because half of her worries are for other people. Tonight she was crying over the punishment one of her friends received for breaking a globe…over a year ago! She said she’s angry with the girl’s parents for spanking her and talking in a mean voice. Mary doesn’t feel this type of “lesson teaching” is beneficial to children. Yes, she actually said that! She also made it clear that nobody is perfect, and adults need to remember that. Really?! After feeling thoroughly reprimanded, I sent her off to bed. Good Night!
So here I am, eating a hot fudge sundae and feeling reflective. Huh. Sometimes, I wonder how I got here.
{ March 14, 2009 @ 1:39 am }
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{ Tags: anxiety, blogging, children, culture, family, funny, home, humor, inspiration, kids, life, love, mental health, Parenting, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, writing }
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So I have two kids in therapy, does that make me a bad mother? Mary dealt with her issues today, and I had the pleasure of sitting in for about 15 minutes. Her anxiety level is fierce, which is rearing it’s ugly head. Girls in general are a pretty insecure bunch and certainly don’t need help from “clinical anxiety” to feel like failures. Am I right? I’m hoping her time with her therapist will help her build coping skills for emotional and high pressure situations. With this goal in mind, H, Mary’s therapist, came up with a brilliant plan: We’ve created a worry box!! During the day, Mary is to write down all of the worrisome thoughts she has so we can go through them at the end of the day. This provides two things: Mother daughter bonding time and the opportunity for Mary to discuss whatever is bothering her. Genius!!!
We had our very first worry box session this evening and it went perfectly! Mary discussed her anxiety over a tense moment in the house, along with being afraid of the dark. I’m sure tomorrow will bring a flood of worry notes, but I think this is a great addition to our life.
I’m now sitting in the kitchen, munching on Fruit Smiles and watching my little darling create a birthday card for her friend’s birthday party tomorrow. She is very excited and told me that her “Happy” squashes her “Scared.” Amazing.
{ March 13, 2009 @ 3:33 am }
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{ Tags: 80s pop culture, blogging, coffee, culture, education, family, friendship, funny, humor, life, love, music, Parenting, people, personal, roller skating, women, writing }
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Even though it’s been a while since my last post, don’t mistake that for a lull in action! Seriously, there is never down time in my world. There is so much ground to cover and hopefully I won’t write in a jumbled, fragmented mess.
Tonight I took Mary to a roller rink!! Whoot whoot! I haven’t been on skates in over 2o years and thought I was tempting the Gods on that one. I was like a newborn deer at first, trying to find my legs. Then, the first notes of Thrillerbegan to play and suddenly, I was my old roller queen self again! Ever thoughtful of embarrassing my dear daughter, I searched the floor to find her and hope she didn’t see the sway of my hips and the feline creeping of my shoulders. I was relieved to find her in the center of the rink, wiggling her own hips and doing the sassy neck thing! Whew, I was safe. There’s nothing like a good pair of roller skates to take a girl back to the “good ‘ole days.”
Another highlight of my week was a coffee date with Mike and Dan. Seriously, Mike and I never have enough time to finish a conversation! Both of us are always on the go, and when we do get a minute to chat, our mutual ADD takes over. Anyway, our coffee date was smartly anchored by Dan, who is the opposite 0f us. I swear he gave me a look that said, “Oh God, there’s two of them!” Mike and I are good like that We laugh, touch, and fling topics back and forth and then back again. He’s my conversational soul mate!
Other than those two exciting events, my week has been kind of drab. Since I’m out of work for the semester, our budget won’t allow for satellite TV. I’ve missed American Idol and Dancing With the Stars. Life sucks. But, thank God for the “intertube” as I am now calling it! I can find every performance thanks to You Tube, which I’ve never utilized before. I love that site! I found myself addicted to vintage American Idol. WTF?! I cried like a baby while watching the Carrie Underwood finale from a few years ago. I swear, it’s like it was happening all over again! I’m a twit, I get that.
Now, getting to the heart of the matter, I’ve been spending the majority of my spring break avoiding the catch up work I need to do for school, along with putting the manuscripts that are writing themselves in my head on paper. I think I’ve lost my MoJo. Bummer. I really hate the university and have to find some way to embrace the un-embraceable (is that even a word?). Whatever, the bottom line is that I have to find my “Tinaness” so I can get to where I’m going.
If I don’t pull myself together, I always have my skating career to fall back on
**Peace out**
