Archive for Random Ramblings
{ May 13, 2009 @ 2:56 am }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: aspergers, Autism, books, children, culture, education, family, health, inspiration, kids, life, love, mothers, Parenting, people, personal, random, random thoughts, relationships, school, thoughts, women, writing }
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We’ve strategized, bribed, worried, and prayed. Today we celebrated victory! The school book fair has been open for business for 48 hours and Ryan hasn’t lifted a thing! Whoot whoot 
I received an e-mail last week from Ryan’s teacher, Mrs. M. She is a fantastic lady who is really in tune with Ryan and his unique needs. Mrs. M. sought me out to ask if I had any suggestions about how we could work together to save Ryan from himself. Since we know that his impulsiveness is a direct link to his autism, along with a hard core obsession over books, we had to find a way in which to thwart his sticky fingers without demoralizing his spirit. Ryan has achieved an abundance of success this year, both academically and personally. We are in a situation that, with the wrong solution, could undermine the great progress he’s made.
I offered to volunteer at the school every day the book fair is in progress, solely to monitor Ryan’s whereabouts. Mrs. M. and I quickly dismissed this suggestion as that would be like reinforcing to Ryan that he can’t be trusted. Instead, Mrs. M suggested that she send a “buddy” to accompany Ryan on his trips to the resource room. I thought this was reasonable intervention and wouldn’t offend Ryan.
After dropping the kids off at school this morning, I was stopped by a very anxious Mrs. M just outside Ryan’s classroom. She was ready to burst, yet her eyes were glistening. She wanted to let me know that our plan was working. She recounted the previous day when Ryan was on his way back from the resource room with his “buddy.” She said as he was walking by the hall where all of the merchandise was displayed, his arms were flapping and he seemed a little intense. In his defense, uncontrolled impulsiveness is almost impossible to ignore. Anyway, she exclaimed, “He did it!!! He walked right past the hallway and didn’t even look at the books!” Well, my heart clenched, my eyes glistened, and I was one proud mama! He really did it.
The book fair will continue until Thursday. I’m not sure that we are out of the woods quite yet, but he had TWO successful days! He resisted temptation and acted responsibly. With every victory, my hope for his future takes ginormous leaps. Today my heart is smiling. Oh, he was also the winner of a $5 book fair gift certificate in today’s 4th grade drawing. Way to go Ryan!
{ April 26, 2009 @ 1:30 am }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, career, children, culture, education, family, friends, friendship, funny, health, humor, inspiration, kids, life, love, Parenting, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, writing }
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I feel very dumb. Life experience has taught me to never make plans and think things will go ‘as planned.’ I wonder how many days like yesterday it will take to teach me this very critical lesson?
I woke up at 7 a.m. expecting to get myself and the kids ready to start another day. While they were safely tucked away at school, I was to make a plasma donation and attend my Literary Analysis class. In the evening, hubby and kids were to accompany me to an Honors Awards ceremony where I was to be presented with an award. It was supposed to go like clockwork. The logistics were layed out, clothing was prepared, and no scheduling conflicts to get in the way. Life seemed in check.
I had just gotten Mary dressed, fed, and packed. It was time to wake Ryan and do the same. He’d had a difficult time sleeping, so I gave him a few extra minutes to sleep. I walked to his bed and shook his shoulders: “Ryan, time to get up buddy.” He turned his head towards me. Something was different about his face. “Sit up,” I said. Ryan sat up and I gasped. His face was swollen- actually, swollen doesn’t begin to cover it. Ryan’s face was inflated on the right side. It looked like someone had pumped air into him from his chin to his forehead. I told hubby to get Mary to school so I could rush Ryan to the emergency room.
We didn’t wait long before the doctor on duty came in to examine Ryan. His opinion was that Ryan needed a tooth removed and possibly had an infection. I told him we haven’t found a new dentist since we’ve moved to town. He said he’d call his friend who happens to be a dentist. I thought luck was on our side!! Well, that was short lived, as Ryan needed emergency oral surgery and had to be put under general anesthesia. I barely had time to talk to him about what was going happen. He was very brave, but of course, this added drama to the day and interrupted my carefully laid plans. I did not make it to my plasma appt. or my lit class. I was holding out hope to make it to the awards ceremony.
After getting Ryan home and tucking him in to bed, I picked up Mary from school. I thought hubby could stay home with Ryan and my daughter would enjoy seeing her mommy shine. Boy, I couldn’t have gotten that more wrong!! Mary complained during the whole ceremony. I was distraught to say the least. After working my ass off for two years, I deserved my Honors Award! Mary made sure I knew that I was nothing special. I got the message loud and clear. There were a few good moments, but overall, I was disappointed. It seemed that all the award winners had their entire clan in tow, had cheerleaders as their names were called, and had great photo ops with their award. Me, nada.
When I got home, Ryan said he was feeling a lot better, which made my heart smile. Mary apologized for her behavior at the ceremony. That was a positive step. I decided to drown my sorrows in Facebook and e-mail, consequently tuning out hubby and the kids. Sometimes I need to escape. As if someone peeked into my soul and saw my tears, I got the BEST news. My poem, “Feeling It,” won an Honorable Mention nod in a literary competition. Also, my essay, “Three Boxes,” won second place in the same competition. Not a bad finish! As if that wasn’t enough, my Facebook page was loaded with well wishes for Ryan,real heart-felt thoughts and concerns for his condition. I was humbled. I was also reminded that in the general scheme of things, it isn’t always about me. Time to put on my big girl pants and deal.
{ April 23, 2009 @ 1:26 am }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, children, culture, daughters, family, funny, humor, inspiration, kids, life, love, motherhood, Parenting, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, women, writing }
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Another mood swing infested day at my house, aren’t you jealous? It is just moments after Mary informs me that she doesn’t believe that I am her real mother, Hubby is not her real father, and she belongs to another family. Huh. Where did my stretch marks come from?
Of course this little tidbit comes on the heels of another Ryan episode. Because communication and instinct are his deficits, he yells if something isn’t quite right or to his liking. This means that when his little sister walks towards the television, he assumes she is going to change the channel, or alter status quo. Naturally, he screams, “Mary, don’t!!!!” in a hostile manner. She responds by wishing him off to another family where she will finally be able to live in peace. Sometimes, I don’t blame her. It is tough being the sibling of a special needs child.
How we jumped from t.v. drama to our current debate is beyond me. After all, parents are always the last to know! In the past twenty minutes, Mary has spun a web of possibilities about her true parentage that made even me stop and consider that maybe she’s telling the truth. According to my (possible) daughter, her real mother died in childbirth and her real father died right after. Mary claims that she was given to me to raise. I spent nine months growing and loving her, and find her existence miraculous every day. Even if she wasn’t truly mine, I would’ve wished for her.
{ April 1, 2009 @ 6:06 pm }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, books, college, culture, education, friendship, funny, home, humor, inspiration, life, love, people, random, random thoughts, screenplays, teaching, theater, thoughts, women, writing }
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Today I received official word that I am the recipient of the 2009 English Division Graduate Award from Delta College! Actually, I found out by accident two days ago, but still, having the award letter in my hand is an amazing feeling! I was told that competition was fierce and that I completely earned the award through talent, perseverance, and hard work. I am humbled. This is the college I dream of teaching at, so winning this award can only help!!
Two years ago, at 32, I walked into Delta without a passion or a dream. Really, just BEING in college was my dream. Who knew it would turn into my life’s driving force? I now have a writing career, am a multiple award winner, and a very promising college teaching career. Whew, life is so unexpectedly beautiful!!
More good news…I met up with a friend of mine who directs adult and children’s productions for our local theater. With my new project in the works, and the excitement of it, I spilled the beans! I gave my friend a very thorough synopsis of “Diary of a Kitchen Table” and he loved it! Actually, as I was talking, I could see the wheels in his head turn. Eventually, he stopped me and said, “Tina, this is a screenplay.” Never having considered writing one, I replied, “What do you mean?” From there he whittled down each scene, as he saw it, which included the dialogue of my characters, the lighting, etc. It was a moment. A very creative and electrical moment. So, needless to say, my options are open. Like I said, I’m keeping it mostly under wraps until I’m ready to share. In the mean time, I’ve got a lot of writing to do!
I love this journey!
{ March 28, 2009 @ 1:57 am }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, books, college, culture, education, family, funny, humor, inspiration, life, literature, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, women, writers, writing }
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I can’t think of a title because my brain is obsessed with my new manuscript! It is writing itself word for word, which I’m thankful for, yet unprepared for. I hadn’t made plans to begin a new project until after the current semester was over, but my imagination has other plans. Seriously, it’s not as if I don’t have enough to do! However, like the artist that I am, I will write.
“Diary of a Kitchen Table” is the name, and it revolves around this theme, from the table’s perspective: “If the kitchen is the heart of the home, then I am it’s pusle, my family it’s blood.” Really, it makes sense. The heart is the major organ, which needs a “pulse” to function. And of course, the important element these two have in common is blood. I’m hardly known for using metaphor in my work, but this has been swirling in my head like an agitated F-1. I’ve discussed the piece with two people and have gotten a lot of emotion in their response. I will keep the details to myself for now, until it all comes to be. One person did tell me that the table sounds posessed, but I can assure you, if done correctly, my readers will gladly accept the kitchen table as part of the family. Stay tuned….
On a different note, I am still waiting to hear about several awards. One has been decided, although I’m not yet privy to the results. The other three are a guessing game. However it works out for me, the announcements will be made shortly. I only have to suffer a little while longer.
For now, I will keep plugging along with my classes, continue putting the madness on paper, and most importantly, find the beauty in life and contemplate my place within it.
{ March 21, 2009 @ 2:21 pm }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, children, college, culture, education, family, finances, funny, health, home, humor, life, people, personal, plasma, random, random thoughts, thoughts, women, writing }
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You know you’ve hit financial rock bottom when you stoop to selling your plasma. Ugh! I never thought I’d be selling my stuff so my kids could eat. What is wrong with this picture?!
I need money to continue with school. I need money to pay the bills. I need money for gas. I need money for food. Forget about entertainment, that isn’t in the cards. And because I’m the selfish wife and mother who decided to pursue her dream of higher education and a new career, I’m the one who deserves to sell her plasma. By doing this, I will be contributing to our monthly income and possibly saving a life. Not a bad way to spend a few hours a week!
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly feel any lower, I received some news that lifted me up, lit my fire, and helped me see that even though times are tough, I need to keep on track and never give up. I’m here in this place for a reason, it isn’t coincidence, it’s my destiny.
Today I’m going to tackle my Shakespeare assignment with new gusto, spend more quality time with my grammar book, and be the ‘close reader’ that my Lit professor expects.
Life is funny, cruel, and delightful.
{ March 17, 2009 @ 2:12 am }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: Autism, blogging, children, culture, discipline, education, family, funny, home, humor, inspiration, kids, life, love, Parenting, people, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, writing }
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After the past few days, I’ve been in a somewhat reflective mood. Reading old posts, along with recent developments, has made me pause for thought. I suppose it is another of those times in life where I need to record it, just so I won’t forget. Or maybe the process of writing and reviewing will allow me insight that only an outsider could provide. So here goes…
Ryan has stumped me again. It’s kinda good, kinda bad. A month ago we were having tumultuous mornings filled with arguments, push-pull moments, and in the end, ultimate emotional defeat (that would be me being defeated). Our evening weren’t much better as Ryan would become quite agitated and combative during homework sessions. I was at the point of giving up, giving in, and looking the other way. Then, without any anticipation or encouragement on my part, he changed! He completely pulled all the pieces together to create a harmonious world. Really?!
It began when Ryan decided our angry and stressful mornings weren’t the best way for either of us to start the day, everyday. One of our biggest obstacles was “getting up,” which would begin with soft motherly sweetness, but end with angry verbal commands from me and steadfast stubbornness from Ryan. Instead, he made the effort to set his own alarm clock, actually get up, and proceed to go through his morning routine without any prodding from me. AMEN!!! I will tell you, if there was ever Heaven on Earth, that was it! Our mornings are back to civility and pleasantness and “Have a beautiful day!” as he heads out the door.
Ryan, around the same time, decided that homework isn’t the devil incarnate. I’m still unclear about what changed his mind, but he now comes home from school, grabs a snack, then begins his homework immediately! Yes, I did worry that there was a possession in my midst, but at this point, I was willing to accept my “new kid,” no matter what. His grades are better, which I’m happy about, and he is discovering that the success that comes on the heels of a deliberate effort is pretty sweet. Yay!!
Unfortunately, as things are falling into place for her brother, Mary is falling apart. She will be seven this spring, which, in my opinion, is far from horomones and puberty, but apparantly, she didn’t get the memo! I’m plagued with tears at all hours of the day and night, along with soul deep conversations during tuck-in time. This kid worries about everything! I call her an emotional sponge because half of her worries are for other people. Tonight she was crying over the punishment one of her friends received for breaking a globe…over a year ago! She said she’s angry with the girl’s parents for spanking her and talking in a mean voice. Mary doesn’t feel this type of “lesson teaching” is beneficial to children. Yes, she actually said that! She also made it clear that nobody is perfect, and adults need to remember that. Really?! After feeling thoroughly reprimanded, I sent her off to bed. Good Night!
So here I am, eating a hot fudge sundae and feeling reflective. Huh. Sometimes, I wonder how I got here.
{ January 6, 2009 @ 4:13 am }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, blogs, career, education, funny, humor, inspiration, life, love, mental health, movies, people, personal, random, random thoughts, teaching, thoughts, women, writing }
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I don’t suppose there is really anything I feel pressed to write about, but I feel pressed to write. Does that make sense? My mind is racing, thoughts are nagging, hands are itching. I describe this state of being by borrowing my favorite line from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure: “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K!”
Next Monday is my first day at university, which I am now at peace with. It was rough for a while, but I’ve put the whole thing into perspective and am viewing it as the next adventure in my mid-life college journey. Frankly, I chalk it up as more material to include in my manuscript!
Today I got a job offer/proposition that has me spinning in circles. I have time to think it through, which is a very good thing. I’m all about strategy and experience at this point and can’t really afford to make a hasty decision. Oh, what to do??
That’s it for now, nothing profound and life changing to report. I’m still a bit crazy and disheveled, a tad scatter brained and neurotic, but nothing a trip to Magic Doug can’t fix!! That reminds me…
{ December 10, 2008 @ 8:20 pm }
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{ Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: blogging, books, career, contests, culture, education, inspiration, life, love, people, personal, publishing, random, random thoughts, thoughts, women, work, writers, writing }
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I just got word that my essay didn’t place in a writing contest. Since I work at the college’s Writing Center, I get a glimpse at the material most of the student body is producing. My question is, “Where are these good writers that placed above me?”
Because I am true to my art, I love to encourage and support budding writers like myself. Even though I don’t LOVE to be a loser, I’ll take my lumps, as I should. I really felt my essay had a chance, but maybe I’m too emotionally involved with my creation.
Oh well, I’ve already moved on and am in the throes of a new manuscript, so the contest judges can bite me! The beauty of losing is that now I can submit my essay to the publication of my choice. There is always a silver lining to everything!
{ December 10, 2008 @ 12:43 am }
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{ 1, Random Ramblings }
{ Tags: culture, Facebook, friends, friendship, funny, high school, humor, inspiration, life, love, men, personal, pop culture, random, random thoughts, relationships, sex, thoughts, women, writers, writing }
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Have you ever been so bored you typed in the names of former classmates, childhood friends, and arch enemies into social network search boxes? Guilty!! I’ve caught myself doing this on occasion and never seem to find the people I’m looking for.
Recently, I re-connected with a former high school classmate on Facebook. Tam and I weren’t in the same cliques, as she was a smart girl and drama kid. I, on the other hand, was involved in as many organizations as possible: Student Council, Leadership, Varsity Cheer, Newspaper Editor, Prom Committee, etc. Really, our paths barely crossed. My most vivid memory of “high school Tam,” is her rather whiny performance in Rebel Without a Cause.
Thanks to the medium of Facebook, Tam and I became grown-up friends and are making plans to visit over the holiday. Since I haven’t kept in touch with any of my former classmates and neglected to attend any of my reunions, I decided to give this Facebook friendship thing a try.
Thirteen friends later, I can’t figure out why I waited so long to re-connect. I didn’t have a horrible school experience or anything, so what kept me away? Afterall, didn’t these long-lost friends help shape who I am today? Isn’t it these people who taught me about friendship, love, trust, honesty, loyalty, and sex (yes, I said it!)?
My recent connections have opened up doors that have been sealed shut for far too long. I’m transported back in time and exploring memories I haven’t had anyone to share with. I’m enjoying the posting of ancient photos containing enormous spiral perms, feathered hair, and the famous mullet. We’ve been revisiting old crushes and who’s married who.
Oops, gotta go! Adrienne is meeting me on Facebook at 8 o’clock sharp!!
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