While watching E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, Mary started screaming and hyperventilating. The scene where E.T.’s heart stops and they try to revive him was to blame for her meltdown. She acted as if she was in horrible pain.
“They did that to me! They did that to me when I was born!” She yelled this and pointed at the TV. Mary was referring to the doctors as they performed compressions on his chest, and bagged him. I tried to calm her, using my soothing “mommy” voice. She kept yelling as if in a trance. The words echoed through the house, “They did that to me!”
What I didn’t know, is that when she was born, “they” really did do that to her. I verified this through Elise, who was in the room when Mary was born. It is true, her birth was very serious and not the scene I’d envisioned when bringing my daughter into the world.
Mary was a large baby and got stuck in the birth canal. Her heart rate vanished, and the delivering doctor ordered a host of nurses to get on top of me and manually push her out. It was scary and painful, to say the least. My calm, cool and collected OB was suddenly very anxious, hostile, and hurried. Because I was so wrapped up in what was happening to my body, I missed many details of Mary’s first moments out of the womb.
Elise filled in the blanks, explaining that when Mary finally emerged, her heart rate was non-existent, and there was no respiration. She was basically gone. They did bag her and were doing two finger compressions. This explains why Elise cries every year on Mary’s birthday. She views her as a miracle and can’t believe she made it and is now a happy, healthy, and sassy little diva.
My bewilderment is that Mary couldn’t have known these details. With things so harried, I didn’t know them. Regardless, Mary acted as if she was reliving those first minutes of her life, and I believe she really did remember, even for a brief moment. I won’t analyze how this could possibly be, but accept something I cannot explain. Either way, my daughter made it, fought hard to make it. She is vital and alive, and her mother is thankful to “them.”
My Humanity 